Have you heard it said that your 20s are the most exciting time: going to college, starting a job, gaining experience, falling in love, and becoming independent. But underneath it all, there are many who feel even more confused - “What do I really want to be?”, “How come my friends are already successful, while I'm still just like this?”, “Am I on the wrong path?”
If you've ever felt these questions, don't worry, you're not alone. You might be experiencing a Quarter Life Crisis - a phase of identity crisis that is very common in early adulthood.
This phenomenon is not just a youth drama, but a real psychological condition that needs to be understood. To find out more, let's hear [psychologist/resource] explain what Quarter Life Crisis is, why it happens, and how we can deal with it without feeling alone.
Quarter Life Crisis, which is a phase in life where people between the ages of 18 and 30 feel worried, confused, and don't know where to go due to uncertainty about the continuation of their lives and thinking too much about the future.
This is what I, a 22-year-old student who is studying in a field that is not of her own choice, feels.
“I feel insecure, and there is fear regarding my future. Moreover, the study that I am doing now is not my desire, ...” she said.
According to Dr. Andri, SpKJ, a psychiatrist from Omni Alam Sutera Hospital, QLC occurs when a person begins to question the direction of their life and feels left behind by their peers. (source: Kompas, 2023)
This remark refers to a phenomenon known as Quarter-Life Crisis or identity, emotional, and existential crisis that is often experienced by individuals in their 20s to early 30s.
According to Dr. Andri, QLC arises when a person begins to question various important aspects of his or her life, such as- “What do I want to be?”, “Is the major or job I'm taking the right one?”, “Why are other people already settled, while I'm still confused?”
These feelings are usually triggered by comparisons with others, especially peers who seem to be more 'advanced' or successful. For example, when you see your friends already having a steady job, getting married, owning their own business, or studying abroad, while you still feel like you're at a standstill - insecurity, fear of failure, or doubts about your own life choices arise.
The keywords from Dr. Andri's explanation are two main things:
Questioning one's life direction → meaning that one is unsure of one's current life choices, or doesn't know where one wants to go.
Feeling left behind by peers → feelings of inferiority, anxiety, and stress because they feel their life development is not as fast or 'good' as others at the same age.
In psychology, this can have an impact on mental health, with symptoms such as:
- Excessive anxiety
- Mood swing
- Loss of motivation
- Feeling like a failure, although not necessarily a failure.
To get out of the vortex of confusion and feeling left behind, the first step is to get to know yourself. According to experts, this process can start with something as simple as writing down and reflecting on what really matters to us.
“Spending some time journaling or going through a list of values to help you figure out what is most important to you can really help here. Getting some clarity on these things will help you make decisions going forward that align with your true self.”
— Carrie Howard (Verywell Mind, 2023)
Howard emphasizes the importance of self-reflection through journaling or a list of personal values to help individuals understand what is truly important to them. With this clarity, one can make decisions that align with their values and life goals.
So, if you feel like your life is a tangled mess right now - it's okay. Quarter Life Crisis is normal. It's not that you're failing, it's that this phase is real and full of question marks. And most importantly: there's no timeline you have to follow. One small step to get to know yourself today, can be a big step for your future. Slowly, but surely. You're not lost - you're just under construction.
14/05/25
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